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Health and wellbeing | 29.12.2014

New Year's Resolutions: 5 keys to reigniting love in your life

New Year's Resolutions

This year has galloped by, with a number of challenges along the way for many of us. 

In order to live a balanced life, exercise and good nutrition alone are not enough to maintain optimum health.  

Most of us try to look after our bodies and take good care of our skin, but our minds and our emotional state are often neglected or overlooked. 

Epigenetics and psychoneuroimmunology are relatively new fields of research that scientifically link and validate that our thoughts, emotions and related biochemistry affect the way that our genes our expressed in our body.  

Genes that relate to our belief systems and health and healing genes that relate to illness and disease can be switched on or off depending on our environment and our mental and emotional state.  

All the more reason to do some internal mental healing, I say. 

One of my favourite dog-eared and highlighted self-help books that I have read this past year is How to be an Adult in Relationships by David Richo. It addresses the five keys to mindful loving.  

In conclusion to this year, and on the eve of the New Year with all its accompanying resolutions, here is an excerpt outlining five ways that we can be more kind and loving to ourselves, our partners, families and friends.

1. ATTENTION

In our busy day-to-day lives, paying attention to others can be challenging. It requires that we be fully present with our senses – observing, listening and noticing feelings and reactions in others and ourselves without judgment.  

Being fully present is a natural state. Attention increases awareness when we focus on our body, feelings and thoughts through meditative practices.  

Over time, these practices can promote full presence of mind and a state of being awake to each experience.  

The reverse can lead to surfing through life with insensitivity to the needs and desires of others and oneself. It may manifest as remoteness and indifference.

2. ACCEPTANCE

There is a tendency to expect perfection from others and ourselves. Acceptance, however, means taking and receiving what is being offered.

Instead of having unreasonable expectations, can we lovingly accept others just as they are and. . . can we do the same with ourselves?

Long-term relationships reveal the flaws and inadequacies in one's partner, which is often a reflection of our own inner conflicts. If not processed and accepted, these conflicts can hold us back from being our best self and seeing the best in others.  

When rejection, disagreement or disharmony enters our relationship, it is important to step back and reach beneath the conflict to discover our loving nature and offer compassion and empathy.  

Accepting is what provides space to set aside negative thoughts and emotions and to uncover the best solutions.

 3. APPRECIATION

To appreciate is to esteem and value highly. Everyone wants to be loved and appreciated. Showing one's appreciation for another is a great gift of value.  

Appreciation goes a long way in helping us to realise our true self worth. Often it's the little things and acts of kindness ­–­ a thoughtful word, a simple gesture ­­– that can touch the heart.

Receiving appreciation is like giving a gift in return. Sometimes we may blatantly criticise others, which may deeply affect their self-worth. We can temper our inner critic by simultaneously contemplating our positive qualities and achievements.

4. AFFECTION

Affection can be expressed though affirmative loving words, as well as physical touch. Teasing and humour are other ways to express affection. Playfulness too, can have an affectionate quality.

Expressing affection enhances your connection with another. Withholding affection gives the impression of dislike or aversion. Receiving affection is as important as giving it.

5. ALLOWING

Relationships can present a spectrum of feelings ranging from ecstasy to pain. Intimacy begins with allowing ourselves to be loved and loving ourselves.  Allowing requires opening one's heart and welcoming life and love just as they are. It doesn't seek to control, possess or judge.

Allowing offers another the freedom and space to pursue their deepest wishes, needs, desires and values.

Most of us do not consciously seek conflict or suffering. Yet, inevitably, disagreement, disapproval or possession may creep into our relationships.  

They present valuable opportunities to be open and honest and to understand and be comfortable with our vulnerability. This can create an opening to explore a deeper understanding of the hurts and fears beneath the conflicts.

From all of us at Mukti Organics, thanks for joining us in our quest for lifelong wellness and happiness. We wish all of you a wonderful new year with great peace, love and harmony in all of your relationships.

@bymukti

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